Culture shock is a common experience for students studying abroad. It refers to the feelings of disorientation and discomfort that can arise when adjusting to a new culture. Understanding the stages of culture shock can help you support your child effectively:
Encourage your child to learn about the host country’s culture, customs, and social norms before they depart. This can include reading books, watching documentaries, and attending pre-departure orientation sessions.
Maintain open lines of communication. Encourage your child to share their experiences, feelings, and any challenges they are facing. Listen empathetically and validate their feelings.
Help your child establish a routine that includes familiar activities and self-care practices. This can provide a sense of stability and comfort. Encourage your child to build a support network by making friends, joining student organisations, and participating in social events.
Keep yourself informed about the host country’s culture, current events, and any potential issues that might affect your child. This can help you provide relevant support and advice. If circumstances allow, consider visiting your child during their stay abroad. Experiencing their new environment firsthand can give you better insight into their challenges and achievements.
Celebrate your child’s milestones and achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and motivation.
Parents can observe how the child is managing their independent lifestyle in another country. They can give advice on how to navigate certain things but let the child take the reins in decision-making and execution. Parents need to understand that they can’t be there for their child all the time and this is the time for them to slowly take on responsibilities. Parents should know that their child is not alone in a foreign country. There are support systems and a friendly community for them to get help from.
Encourage their child to join the societies in the uni eg. Malaysian society.
Being able to let go is one of the first and most important steps for parents to take so that their child can have a better experience studying abroad. From the second they know that their child is going to leave the nest until he/she starts studying in a different country, parents need to prepare themselves and have a level of trust that their child is going to be living life away from them and be able to survive. Once parents have prepared their child and relayed useful advice, it is time to let the child be independent and let them take on responsibilities for themselves.
The idea of your child flying alone or with other fellow students to a faraway country without you can be daunting. “What if my child gets lost? What if my child gets stuck at the immigration counter? What if my child cannot find their luggage?” All these questions and concerns are valid for a parent.
Then it gets to when your child has finally reached the destination country and is settling in. “What if my child has a nasty roommate/housemate? Does my child know how to get and buy groceries? Will my child be able to cook or get meals for themselves?”.
The mental struggle of a parent does not stop there. “When my child starts his/her classes, will they be able to cope? Will my child be able to fit in and make friends? Are they making the best of their student life in a different country or are they having too much fun and could get into trouble?”.
Take deep breaths, parents! Your child is going to be just fine. They are 18 year old adults and they will make mistakes. You can keep in touch with them as much as they need you to and give them advice but at this stage, you cannot be there for them all the time. Hence, give them some space to grow and let them take the reins in decision-making. If they succeed in something they have done, congratulate them and be happy for them. On the other hand when they fail or make mistakes. Be supportive of them and have them figure out a way to fix it. Showing too much concern and being overprotective would not help your child.
Be assured that your child is not alone in a foreign country. There are support systems and a friendly community for them to get help from. You can encourage your child to join good societies in university like the Malaysian Student Society. The people they meet there are going to be a resourceful guidance and make living in a foreign country less stressful. Letting go is easier said than done but it is vital when your child makes that leap to pursue their education abroad. Parents can observe through communication and celebrate every milestone the child is going through as an individual. Be on the lookout for red flags like mental health disorders or drastic changes that can hurt themselves or others. Other than that, allow yourself to be delighted for your child and give yourself a cheer for giving your best shot at parenting up until this point. You’re doing great, parents!
Readjustment is a stage when individuals come back to their home country after living abroad. This can include adjusting back to routine, surroundings, new changes, and reconnecting with people. What people do not know is that a lot of students can have problems with readjustment. People might think everything is all jolly for someone who just came back from studying abroad but there are challenges for an individual to return to how they were when they were living full time in Malaysia. That happens more often than not and can be quite common.
Imagine this, as soon as you land back in Malaysia, you can feel the welcome and warmth of the country. The people around you are speaking your mother tongue and this could make you feel familiar or completely weird because you haven’t listened to or spoken the language for quite some time. You are back to humid temperatures and tropical weather. You meet up with your family and friends and there are so many updates you need to catch up on that it feels overwhelming. You could feel lonely because no one around you could relate to your experiences, you could feel dejected because of the change in surroundings and how everyone around you has changed while you were away. People could say that you have changed while you were away but you need to also keep in mind that your home country is changing too. You would need to be flexible with your expectations when you return home and recognise that it may feel funny to you for a while because adjustment to changes takes time, just like when you first went to a different country.
As parents, ensure that your child eases into readjustment to routine at home. Have them spend time with family members and friends at their own pace so that they can be free to share their experiences and still feel welcomed to be back home. Look out for signs of post study abroad depression like spending too much time alone, withdrawing from family and friends, and being comparative and judgemental of the differences between countries to the point of criticising the way things are in Malaysia. Students are going to need constant support when they come back and not feel like there is nothing making them happy in their home country anymore. Some students will feel a strong sense of being left out because of the number of things they do not know and the occasions they missed out on because they were away. Celebrations, birthdays, gatherings, and holidays are some of them depending on the amount of time they were away from home. Let them know how much they are deeply missed and how things are different when they are not there. Appreciation can rebuild the familial bonds and make them feel happy that they came back.
Do not worry, parents! Everyone will need to go through readjustment when they return from a different country after a period of time but what matters is how much support they have from the people they love to get through it. A wise person once said, ‘’home is where the heart is’’. When your child can feel the heart and love around, rest assured that they feel at home too.