Improving your communication

Communication between parents and children about overseas studies can be both exciting and challenging. This transition often brings about various potential problems that can arise from misunderstandings, concerns, and expectations. Here are some common issues and effective ways to respond to them:

Misalignment of Expectations: Parents and children may have different ideas about the purpose and outcomes of studying abroad. Parents might focus more on career prospects and financial stability, while children may prioritise personal growth and independence.

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Response: Initiate open discussions early on. Clarify individual expectations and goals for the study abroad experience. Encourage empathy and understanding of each other's perspectives to find common ground.

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Financial Concerns: The cost of studying abroad can be a significant worry for parents. They may be concerned about affordability, budgeting, and ensuring their child's financial security.

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Response: Create a detailed financial plan together. Discuss funding options, scholarships, part-time work opportunities, and budgeting strategies. Reassure parents by demonstrating responsible financial planning and decision-making.

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Safety and Well-being: Parents may worry about their child's safety, health care access, and adaptation to a new environment.

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Response: Research and share information about the safety measures in the destination country. Discuss health insurance coverage and access to healthcare facilities. Assure parents of your proactive approach to safety and well-being, such as staying informed about local laws and customs.

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Cultural Adjustment: Both parents and children may underestimate the challenges of cultural adaptation, language barriers, and homesickness.

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Response: Educate yourselves about the host country's culture, language, and social norms. Discuss strategies for cultural adjustment and coping with homesickness. Encourage open communication about feelings and experiences throughout the process.

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Communication Barriers: Time zone differences, busy schedules, and technological challenges can hinder effective communication between parents and children.

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Response: Agree on regular communication schedules and methods that work for both parties. Use technology such as video calls, messaging apps, and emails to stay connected. Be patient and understanding of each other's availability and commitments.

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Independence and Decision-Making: Parents may struggle with letting go and allowing their child to make independent decisions.

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Response: Parents should allow their children to make their own decisions. Some of the parents are even involved in the university’s decision-making processes related to study abroad preparations. Demonstrate maturity and responsibility in your choices. Assure you parents of your ability to handle challenges while remaining open to their guidance and support.

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Effective communication and proactive planning are essential to addressing potential problems related to overseas studies. By fostering mutual understanding, empathy, and shared goals, parents and children can navigate this transformative experience with confidence and support.

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When preparing children for overseas studies, understanding the difference between hearing and listening becomes crucial in fostering effective communication and support:

1. Hearing: Hearing refers to the physiological process of perceiving sound through the ears. It is a passive activity that occurs naturally when sound waves reach the ear and are transmitted to the brain.some text
   • Example: Your child tells you about their plans to study abroad, and you hear the words they say without necessarily engaging deeply with the content or meaning.
2. Listening: Listening goes beyond hearing; it involves actively paying attention to what is being said, processing the information, and understanding its meaning. It requires concentration, empathy, and responsiveness.some text
   • Example: Your child expresses concerns about adapting to a new culture while studying abroad. Listening involves not just hearing their words but also empathising with their emotions, understanding their fears, and responding thoughtfully to provide reassurance or guidance.

When preparing children for overseas studies, parents should focus on listening rather than just hearing. This means:

• Being Present: Dedicate time and attention to actively engage in conversations about their study abroad plans, concerns, and aspirations.
• Understanding Emotions: Listen attentively to their feelings about leaving home, adjusting to a new environment, and managing expectations.
• Offering Support: Respond with empathy and understanding, acknowledging their concerns and providing guidance or reassurance based on your own experiences or research.

By listening actively, parents can strengthen their relationship with their children, build trust, and effectively support them as they embark on their overseas study journey. This approach not only enhances communication but also helps address potential challenges more effectively.

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To form trust between parents and children, it is important to reflect the communication pattern. Here are some points for reflection:

• Are you the type of parent who shows affection?
• Encouragement and Support - Reflect on how you encourage and support your children in their endeavours. Do you provide constructive feedback and praise their efforts?
• Empathy - Reflect on how empathetic you are towards your children's emotions and perspectives. Do you try to see things from their point of view? 
• Non-verbal communication - Consider how your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice influence your communication. Are you sending positive non-verbal cues that reinforce your verbal messages?

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It is not easy to give advice to the children if parents have not shown their care to them before. Hence, it’s important to form a good relationship with their child. Do understand that a  good connection will not develop over a night, it takes time. 

To strengthen the relationship when preparing for overseas studies:

• Initiate Honest Conversations: Discuss expectations, concerns, and goals openly and honestly.
• Show Interest: Take an active interest in your child's interests, aspirations, and the details of their study abroad plans.
• Be Supportive: Offer encouragement and practical assistance, such as helping with preparations or researching the destination country together.
• Respect Boundaries: Respect your child's need for independence and decision-making while being available for guidance and support when needed.
• Celebrate Achievements: Recognise and celebrate milestones and achievements throughout the preparation process.

By prioritising and nurturing the parent-child relationship, families can enhance communication, support each other effectively, and navigate the exciting journey of studying abroad with confidence and mutual understanding.

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For students who are not that close to their families, it is best for the families to not expect the child to have constant communication when they are abroad. Start small with some gaps between communication, ask about important events happening, and be supportive of the child. Families should be good listeners so that the child feels comfortable sharing more things in the future and does not tend to hide things when they are apart. 

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Planning your visits?

It would be best to visit during the child’s term/short breaks when they don’t have classes/exams. Planning ahead is best to get cheaper deals when booking flights & accommodations. 

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Visit once or twice in a year. Parents should not be a distraction. The child won’t learn to be independent too if their parents visit too often. 

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Utilise student discounts! MHexplorer (MAS) family and friends can use promo codes. Qatar Airways Student Club has similar benefits.

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If you can’t visit?

With technology nowadays, it’s so convenient to make video calls - Do check in with the kid at least once a week just to catch up and make sure they are doing okay. 

You can send packages of your child’s favourite foods/treats or clothes.

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Planning Your Visit to See Your Child Abroad

1. Choosing the Right Time to Visit

Academic Calendar: Check your child's academic calendar to avoid visiting during exam periods or critical study times. Aim for breaks or holidays when your child will have more free time.

2. Travel Arrangements

Flights and Accommodation: Book your flights and accommodations well in advance to secure the best deals. Utilise student discounts! MHexplorer (MAS) family and friends can use promo codes. Qatar Airways Student Club has similar benefits! Consider staying close to your child’s accommodation to maximise your time together.

Travel Insurance: Ensure you have adequate travel insurance to cover any medical emergencies, trip cancellations, or lost luggage.

3. Cultural Sensitivity

Local Customs and Etiquette: Familiarise yourself with the local customs and etiquette to show respect and understanding towards your child's host culture.

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When You Can't Visit

1. Staying Connected

Regular Communication: Schedule regular video calls or phone calls to stay updated on your child’s life and experiences. You can send care packages with their favourite snacks, photos, and small reminders of home. This can provide comfort and a sense of connection.

2. Leveraging Technology

Online events: Many universities offer virtual tours of their campuses. This can help you feel more connected to your child’s environment. Participate in online events hosted by your child’s university. This can give you insights into their academic life and any support services available.

3. Emotional Support

Encourage Independence: Support your child in becoming more independent and self-sufficient. This is a crucial part of their personal development. If your child is struggling, encourage them to seek help from university counselling services or local mental health resources.

4. Financial Support

Budgeting: Help your child develop a budget to manage their finances effectively while abroad. Ensure your child has access to emergency funds in case of unexpected expenses.

5. Involvement in Their Experience

Ask About Their Life: Show genuine interest in their daily life, studies, and experiences. This can strengthen your relationship and provide emotional support. Encourage your child to make friends and engage in social activities. This can help them build a support network abroad.

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